Due to technical issues, I have a new blog. From now on, visit:

kusalipray.blogspot.com

Three years ago today, according to the date of the photo, my baby
made a silly face for a picture.

trial

I'm going to try posting via email, so here goes:

Pray is laying in his gari tent (where he has slept every night since
moving--yay!!) trying to say, "Mama's blogging." That last word is hard!

Some of you have seen on my facebook about Pray's eye. We had an
appointment with Dr. Matthews on Friday (he only has clinic on Mon/
Fri), but after I emailed him a picture of the eye, he texted late
Tuesday night to advise me not to wait until Friday. We went this
afternoon (Wednesday) and saw a different American pediatrician. Dr.
Matthews was in a meeting, but came in at the end. Thankfully, they
said it's not a foreign object. Right now, we're treating it as an
infection with eye drops for five days. If it's not better in one
week, we will go to the opthamologist in town (who knew!). They said
there's a chance it's a condition found in sub-Saharan Africa caused
by dirt/dust where scar tissue builds on the eye, but that normally
starts in the corner of the eye. If it's that, there is nothing we can
do until it affects his vision. Please pray it's just an infection.
Pray is good about the eye drops, but still has pain.

The new house is going well--finally. We're going to Moshi to order
beds on Thursday (I'll probably post this after we go), so we will
continue to sleep on our new mattresses on the floor until the beds
are ready. Pray loves having all the room outside to play. The guard
loves to play soccer with him and we finally bought a regular sized
ball. I have to make sure Pray wears his tennis shoes (thanks, James!)
because he gets upset when the gravel gets in his crocs. I've figured
out I can get him to wear any of his clothes if I say it is from
Bibi. :) :) This seems to be backfiring lately...just tonight, he
informed me he was going to America to see Bibi and I had to wait in
Tanzania. Thanks! I don't know what's worse, staying in TZ while he
goes to America or being a donkey and sleeping outside as he told me
last week.

His new phrases include:
No thank you, Mama
Usisema chicken butt. (That's "don't say chicken butt" as I tell him
all the time)
Not today, Mama. (also, Talk not today)
Talk Bibi!
I am three! (Not a pro at that yet. Bibi asked him how he was and he
said, "I am three!")
Pray James!
No light. (We've been without power most hours here at the new house)
Where is...
It is hot, Mama?
Guess what? I looove you!
Open please.
You are my sunshine...
Hug for me/you!
My key.
You're going to fall. (all as one word!)
Mama's Cokey (Mama needs a Coke when someone wakes up at 6:30am!!)
Banana pancakes
Tee-tap (Q tip...don't worry, he doesn't get to use them!)

Adoption wise, we should be having our home visit next week! Of
course, TIA, so prayers are welcome. :) I'm SO happy to announce that
Suzanne will be in Uganda to bring Josie Love HOME this time next
week. I can't wait for Pray, Josie, Joseph, and Daisy to sing and
dance together on Sunday mornings. :)

Update 11/7:
-Pray's eye is healing wonderfully! Thank you, Dr. Matthews and Dr.
Megan!
-Neema got her hair done today! SO cute. Tomorrow is her birthday and
we're having cake at Blue Heron.
-Our new guards arrived from the bush. Hardcore bushmen. They speak
very little Swahili and absolutely no English, so it's an adventure.
-Pray got to video skype with Bibi and Alena yesterday. He and Alena
had fun playing peek-a-boo and trading his gum for her paci.
-Congratulations to my boys, Reid and Sawyer! They are now big cousins
to a baby girl. :)
-Here at the house, we are hooked on the tv series Brothers and
Sisters. The old apartment had a dvd rental store and we are almost
finished with season one (well, I am already finished, but Liza and
Heath have two more discs). We love it! :)
-We went to Moshi yesterday to order the beds for the two bedrooms the
landlord didn't furnish. We were able to get two beds, two side
tables, and a big coffee table for the price of one bed here in
Arusha. Only two more weeks of sleeping on a mattress on the floor!
-We are up bright and early this morning! We're going to have either
french toast or pancakes--whichever the birthday girl (or her mama)
chooses. We're hoping the water comes back (you know, the water that
the landlord said will never run out because he installed a huge tank
under the house!) so we can shower before going to Blue Heron for
pizza and cake.

Halloween pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2173588&id=4701720&l=2fdf829d73

Not much time to write, as we have to get home to pack and move to the new house! We went to the circus on Halloween and despite my fears that Pray would be terrified, he LOVED it. I teared up a few times at his pure joy. Priceless memories. He was reenacting it last night, running around and laying on the floor with his feet up in the air like the acrobats. There were no animals like at an American circus, which probably would have scared him. We enjoyed spending the afternoon with Akira, Clara Shei, Kirsten, Topher, and Priya, too. We hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween!

Written 20 October, past bedtime:

Pray is by no means an easy child, which I’ve known since he was 10 months old, but I am so absolutely in love with “my chocolate cake” (his favorite line from our nightly book, You Are My I Love You). Just today, an hour after carrying him screaming and kicking through the streets of Arusha, I stood in the doorway and watched him sleep. I almost woke him up just to hear his voice say “Hi Mama” and cuddle. If he actually slept well during the night, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but after four nap-less days and his usual tossing and turning all night, I figured he needed the deep sleep.

I finally got an appointment with the American pediatrician! Just in time, as a fever has joined his cough and runny nose. I know it’s so American of me to think H1N1, but I just read in the paper that Tanzania has Africa’s second highest rate of H1N1 cases (South Africa is number one). We see the doctor Friday (a three day wait!), but if he’s still fevery in the morning, I will text the doctor and see if he can fit Pray in. Poor guy is so tired and just not feeling well. Unfortunately, he goes from being cuddly (yet miserable) to ornery as ever! We’re working on consequences (Oh! I need to remember to translate that online!) and his orneriness led to no books at bedtime tonight. He now screams “Bibi!” if he gets upset with me. Buddy, Bibi is a bit far away!

We had a big disappointment today. A day after signing the rental contract on our new house, the landlord claims he never agreed to those terms. He originally agreed to x dollars a month for six months unfurnished or y dollars a month for a year furnished (obviously a year long contract was less per month and since Heath plans to be here long term, that would work). We fell in love with the house, if you’ve seen pictures, you know why! It’s beautiful. Four bedrooms, three and a half baths, including a Jacuzzi style tub, a huge kitchen, fireplace, lots of light from all the windows, two balconies, big yard, and a to-die-for view of Mt. Meru. We even bought a puppy off the street to use as a guard dog…eventually. That’s a whole other story, though. :) So the landlord now says he never said furnished and would only spend 1500 on furniture, which after the fridge and cooker leaves about 300 bucks for four beds, dining room set, sofa, etc. Even the realtor was upset, as he is out commission and still has to pay the attorney for drawing up the contract. Oh and about the lie, obviously. So, back to the drawing board. The rent for the house was going to be less than what we pay for this apartment. The apartment is nice and very safe (plus a little boy from Neema’s orphanage just came home to live with his New Yorker mama here!), but it’s just too expensive. It looks like we will be getting rid of Penda (our puppy) if we move to another apartment. The kids will be sad, but then they’ll be back to playing instead of hiding from the dog on the couches. :) Many people have guessed we paid over $300 for him, so it looks like we’ll be able to sell him for a profit, especially once he’s a few weeks older. Even $50 would be amazing, since we paid a whole $15! Impulsive and irrational decisions make such good memories! :) ((Update Oct 21: the landlord said he will provide everything but beds and mattresses. We’re discussing and hoping he will provide two of the four beds.))

Tomorrow will mark one month away from home and three weeks since Pray came home with his mama. That emotionally draining first week and the days that followed seem like forever ago. Sometimes, I even forget I’m in Africa. If it weren’t for the food and the small (ha) issue of missing my mama, I could do this long term. So far, the food issue is the biggest. I’m even craving an Arby’s roast beef sandwich. Oh yum. I’m going to need a sitter for the first Friday we’re home, because I’m going to feast at Fleming’s! Back to forgetting I’m in Africa…I am so used to missing Pray and the kids. I miss NK every single day I’m home, yet here I am, just 40 minutes away, and I’ve visited once in three weeks. The knowledge that I’m keeping Pray’s emotional health in mind assures me I am doing the right thing, but when I think about it (sadly, not everyday…crazy, I know!), I miss my baby Baraka-boo. I miss Andrew’s kisses after he ate a handful of dirt. Saimon saying Amy. Aroni asking to watch Bob. Davey’s mischievous grin. Loveness dancing. Faraja showing me her cuts. Baby Pray’s laziness and outright refusal to walk. Maurine’s eyes when she laughs. Stephen’s wet pants minutes after changing into dry ones. Abduli’s excitement about every little thing. Ericki’s sweet voice. Frankie’s smile. Emanuel’s sudden improvement in speech. Eman’s absolute cuteness. Daines’s big ol eyes. Tumaini when she lies beside me and sucks her thumb. Asimwe and Nisima when they’re being good (ahem!). Heaveni’s willingness to share and help the younger kids. Huseni’s laugh and toothless grin. Wema’s random English phrases. The mamas’ kind laughter at my Swahili. The cheers of “PrayGodi anakuja!” (Pray is back).

Oh, my babies. My reasons for loving this country. Yet, I only think about them every few days. I don’t get sad. Maybe because I know I can hop in a taxi or dala dala and see them? Or is it because Pray and I are so content in our little routine? All of those little things have been replaced. Our morning cuddle before breakfast. That crucial decision of whether to have cinnamon and sugar toast or jelly. Putting on yummy smelling lotion (He does his belly and I’m not allowed to help!) while I brush through those black curls. When Pray asks to “washa hands up!” (washa=watch or in this case, listen. Hands up=Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus). Brushing our teeth together and laughing. Reading “Mama Loves PrayGodi” (aka Momma Loves Her Little Son by John Carter Cash...I colored the little boy brown and he loves it) and You Are My I Love You. When I say, “Now I lay me” and Pray says “down to sleepy.” :) Pray’s list of who he is thankful for, which varies but always includes Mama, Bibi, Bobby, Ashley, Baba Wangu (Swahili for “my dad”), Auntie Mary (his dad’s little sister), Mill-ah, May-con, Neema, Heath, Liza, and Eman mdogo na watoto wote (Eman and all the children…aka NK kids). Along with the other people he’s thankful for, but doesn’t list every night, are the random “go cheese” (grilled cheese, originally mistaken as goat cheese. Silly mama.), zebra, pink toes, paka wa Ashley (Ashley’s cat), Meru, jelly, gari ya Heath (Heath’s car), dala dala (even though he throws his worst fits after riding them!!), pipi (candy), flush (his favorite part of the bathroom!), and booty. Yeah, I discourage including that last one in prayers, but he knows he’s blessed with an adorable booty—we tell him all the time.

I think I’ve made up for the lack of posts. :) There’s a snoring boy beside me and I better catch some sleep before he starts his nightly thrashing which includes hitting or kicking Mama just to make sure she’s there. I awoke one morning to a child curled up between the top of my head and the headboard of the bed. Once we move, I will make him sleep in his gari tent, but for now, my consistency in that arena melts along with my heart when he has to hold my hand in order to fall asleep. Mama’s boy for sure!

(written Oct. 6th)



My name is Pray and that is my mama.

Music to my ears! This little one is quite the character, but that’s not news to me. :) We had some rough patches the first few days and I can’t imagine how parents adopting a child they just met must feel when the child tells them, “I want to go back to the children.” “You are not my mama.” “I don’t love you. I love Bibi only.” Luckily these moods didn’t last long and have stopped since Saturday. I knew to expect it—thank goodness! How he must be grieving for the kids he has lived with his whole life. The familiarity of his bed, the food, and the routine—all lost. How confused he must be to be sad so yet so happy to be with his Amy (he still calls me Amy, but some “Mama wangu”s have slipped the past few days). He still mentions the kids every once in awhile and we pray for them every night. Today he said Huseni went on safari and then asked where Huseni’s elephant was. I just picked one. :)

Right now we are sitting at the kitchen table eating pb&j sandwiches and carrots. He is telling me I’m scared of carrots and I pretend to cry as he feeds them to me. :) Lala time has been a bit of a struggle, mainly because a certain little boy does not lay still! He’s fallen off the bed twice and I have woken up to him at the foot of the bed countless times. We finally found a little mattress that will fit in his car tent, but he napped in there twice and had enough of it. Did I mention he wakes up at 6:29 every morning? Exact time every single morning. Sometimes he will play while I go back to sleep and other mornings he will sleep again, too. We solved the nighttime pee issue by buying $20 Pull Ups. They only had princess ones, but he likes to point out Amy, Heath, and Liza on his “chupa kwa lala” (underwear for sleep).

We had fun at the nearby playground on Sunday, but went again last night with Heath and Neema and they charged us 3,000tsh per kid! About $2.30 for 30 minutes of playing! Crazy. We will play on our own from now on. :) Speaking of Neema, those two are TOO cute together. Talk about ornery! I’d love to know what they say all day long. If you haven’t seen the pictures I linked below, they’re a must. According to the compatibility predictor iPhone application, Pray and Neema are a 100% match! Heath and I are already planning the wedding. :)

Pray’s most consistent English words are flush and booty. He asks what everything is and apparently loves the sound of booty! Followed by the cutest giggle ever, of course. He’s always been enthralled with flushing toilets, so that’s not new, just the word. “I love you, mama wangu” is my favorite. The other night, he was watching me do dishes and Heath’s friend starting laughing. Pray was telling me, in Swahili, “That is dangerous. Oh, but you are touching it anyway!” Duh, Amy!

Well, it’s naptime here, just about 6 am eastern time. After nap we will go to Impala to post this and video chat with Bibi and Alena! Oh and just now I refused to give him candy and he no longer loves me. Such a three year old!

Hi Reid and Sawyer! I miss you! I hope you are having fun and learning a lot in school. We have been in the gari a lot and Pray loves it. We see lots of piki pikis near our apartment, too. Next month is Thanksgiving and Baby Catherine! I’m so excited for you! Will you email me pictures of her once she is born? You’ll both be great big cousins. Pray and I love you!

After a few rough patches, Pray has settled in well. Night time is still the hardest, but as long as he sleeps in my bed, he's fine. We finally found a mattress for his gari tent, so he has napped in there the past 2 days. Yay Pray! We spent Sunday morning at the playground in the complex, then the afternoon at Kigongoni Lodge swimming with Neema, Heath, Liza, Jennifer, Julia, and Lauren. Pray LOVED it! He swam all by himself (with water wings, though). My internet time is up (dala dala-ing to Impala is hard with a kid in tow, so we hardly ever come) but here is a link to pictures from yesterday:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2170568&id=4701720&l=70816ac712

And the earlier link should still work. I added more to that, too!

Please keep praying for Pray's transition. We hope to go visit NK this weekend, but I'll wait and see how he is. He loves every meal we've had (no surprise there!) and talks about Bibi and Bobby all the time. Neema has been such a help! They chat in Swahili all day long. Too cute. I promise to update more soon!

Turn up your volume! :)

The circus is in town! Literally. Mama Afrika Circus has set up right down the road from our apartment. It's only 8000tsh (less than 8 bucks) annnnd 2 for 1, so really we will pay less than 3 dollars a piece to go to the circus! We went to Disco Night at Blue Heron and a guy told us the circus is something you'd expect in Europe and he was blown away. Heath and I are worried it might scare the kids. What age is old enough for the circus? They are almost three and three.

Speaking of kids, Pray comes home TOMORROW! I took down an earlier post at my mother's request. Apparently it was incredibly negative. :) Frustration abound, but tomorrow will be a good day.

Sorry for the short post. I need to get back on the dala dala and get home before dark.

The link to more pictures:

Pray isn't home yet. I picked up the order for transfer of custody on Thursday, but the "hospital authority team" needs to "discuss and decide." I will refrain from further comment on that, suffice it to say, they better "decide" soon, especially since the order is from the regional director of Social Welfare and I'm pretty sure they don't want to upset Mr. Panga. I'm headed back to see Pray next and if he isn't allowed to leave with me yet (which, he is no longer in their custody...I don't get it!!) I will be calling our lawyer.

Otherwise, it has been a great few days. Heath drove me out to NK on Wednesday hoping to bring Pray home, even though the letter was locked in my out-of-town lawyer's office. When we walked in, the kids were supposed to be napping. I snuck around the corner expecting Pray to be in his bed, but it was empty! He was out of bed playing. Silly boy. :) His face was priceless. He ran up to me right away and I got the biggest hug! He kept looking at me and smiling so big. Of course, someone was crying and he started explaining why. (Tumaini because she was scared. Scared of what, I may never know!) I ended up staying until 6pm while Heath went home. It was a fun afternoon. The kids are all doing well. The mamas call Baraka "Pray mdogo" because they say he looks just like Pray did as a baby. :) :) The real Baby Pray is getting huge and SHOULD be walking, but like the other big babies were, he is too lazy.

Yesterday, I went again WITH the letter. Of course, I already wrote what happened then. Apparently if you give a child water and food, he will forget he is sad and won't cry. My attempts to get Dr. Julius to come hold Pray while he screamed and cried when I had to leave failed. I left as my boy sat on the floor sobbing quietly. Another day of his mama leaving him. It breaks my heart.

Now I am off to Shoprite to pick up a few things, then to NK. I have Pray's favorite toy cell phone, motorcycle, and fruit snacks. :) It looks like he won't be getting a nap today!

Link to a few pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2169258&id=4701720&l=1e4c245fa3

I made it in last night. Abeli was at the airport waiting for me and we finally found our way to the apartment. Heath was a nice mommy and let Neema stay up until I got there. Pray is going to seem SO big compared to little Neema. Heath and I are at Blue Heron internet-ing and eating pizza. Soon we will go to the lawyer's office to pick up the custody letter, then on to Nkoaranga to get Pray! I don't even need to say how excited I am (and a bit nervous...)!

Since facebook won't cooperate today, here are a few pictures of the apartment and cutie Neema Eva (pronounced Ava).
My bed. The door you can partially see leads to my own private balcony (Liza, you have one too!):
AMAZING closet (also shows pretty wood ceiling):
View from my balcony. Mt. Meru is hiding behind those clouds:
The kitchen:
The family room:

Pray knows I am coming on Wednesday! Miriam, one of the two volunteers from Germany, passed on my message to him and said he is "totally happy and keeps telling everyone!" :) :)

I'm getting a custom design for this blog. I'm very excited and can't wait to see what it will look like. For now, I'm off to nap. We got home from Nashville at 4:30 this morning and I'm running on four hours of sleep. Catching some lalas before a night of packing. Stay tuned!

*Amy

A different kind of pray this time. Please pray, think positive thoughts, whatever is your thing, for the Mike and Suzanne Mayernick as they hold their daughter Josie Love in Uganda and face so many unknowns ahead. Also for their 6 kids here at home whose hearts must be aching as well. Their blog is joiningthejourney.blogspot.com

Hi all,

I have recently put together a fundraiser with the help of Gwen and Suzanne at 147millionorphans.com. Make sure to turn up your sound and watch the video slide show! Take a look:

prayinghimhome.blogspot.com


And, just because she is precious beyond words (and finally getting meat on those bones!), here is a photo of Pray's future wife, Miss Neema DuPree:



I have no idea why all my posts say undefined at the top. I even changed layouts, but it's still there. I guess we'll just have to deal with it. :) I'm also having trouble getting the title to show up bigger. Kusali is a Swahili word meaning "to pray." Fitting, I'd say.

(It keeps saying "undefined" here at the beginning...I don't know why.)
This isn't what I had planned to publish as my first post, but it has become a very pressing matter. Please pray this is either rejected quickly or takes a very long time to be approved.

On 10th July 2009 the Government of Tanzania published a Bill outlining the proposed new “Law of the Child Act”. The Bill has not yet been approved by Parliament and is not yet law. It is unclear when Parliament will debate this Bill. This proposed law repeals and replaces many statutes related to children including the law of adoption. Salient points of the proposed law are as follows:-

-International adoption will still not be recognized or allowed. (i.e. only residents of Tanzania may adopt)
-Tanzanian citizens who live abroad will be allowed to adopt but are still required to complete the foster care period and will only be granted an interim adoption order
-Single women will no longer be allowed to adopt unless they are Tanzanian citizens
-Adoptive applicants who are non-Tanzanians will be required to reside in Tanzania for a consecutive period of 3 years before they can apply to adopt.
-The foster care period (currently 3 months) will be extended to 6 months
-Non Tanzanians who adopt will be required to give 30 days notice to the Commissioner before leaving Tanzania with their child.

Info from Brooke Montgomery