Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. -Mother Teresa

My sweet child has had me at my rope's end the past few days. My mom always tells me not to air his mistakes to the world, but I have learned so much through other families' blogs that it wouldn't be fair to sugar coat our situation. 

Pray is a dream child. He is so sweet, picking up manners quickly, funny, and possibly the smartest three year old I've ever known. He is also a child who has never known family, discipline, or consistent love. He spent the first three years in an orphanage with 25 to 35 other kids on any given day. He has seen three friends go home to live with family, seven friends go to boarding school, four babies under the age of two die, a fire in his home that severely burned two friends--almost killing them, his favorite caretaker fired, countless volunteers come and go...and that's only in the two short years I have known him. Toss in having his Amy leave him for months at a time on five different occasions then expect him to trust that this person is his Mama and will never leave him--the boy is bound to have some rough times.

This week has been the worst. It started Tuesday night. I almost woke him up to sleep in my bed (he sleeps next to my mattress--still waiting for our beds to be finished--in a tent designed like a car. Woohoo!) because he was thrashing, crying out, and talking in his sleep. He even said, "No thank you, Mama!" in his sleep. I let him sleep and at the ripe hour of three o'clock in the morning, Mr. Sunshine was up. Not just awake, but awake and inconsolable. I have an idea now of what set him off, but at the time I was clueless as to what was making him so out of control--hitting, biting, spitting, throwing every little thing across the room. I didn't even let the lady that cleans our house clean our room, he had destroyed it. I know it's petty in comparison, but thank goodness he only ruined the ear phone for my right ear! The left side still works, which is of utmost importance when you have a snoring child. :) This continued until eight am when we got out of bed for breakfast (almost the same time everyday--routine! Consistency!). I was beat, literally and figuratively, while Mr. Personality had been laughing all morning.  

The day progressed and his behavior was normal, night time came again and so did his raging. I know now (it's Friday) that our guards told him he was going to his dad's house. Why they said that, I have no idea. I am positive they've never seen a mzungu (foreigner) with a Tanzanian child, so the probably have no clue about adoption. They are "bushmen"...straight from the bush. I forget what the tribe is called (better ask!), but the Bianuccis visited a tribe similar to theirs. Here is one of their pictures:

And just because I am writing about them now, I had to go outside and photograph what they are currently doing. Take a look:

They are building a thingymabob to trap the pretty yellow birds in our yard. Yes, that's my child helping them. I made him come inside asap. As much as I love having this huge open space for Pray to play, I don't really like him being around these guys. They tease the dog, which I really don't want Pray to do! The other evening, Pray was outside and I called him in. He didn't answer. I checked all around the yard--no Pray, no bushmen. I yelled for all three, but no answer. I panicked and immediately thought, "They stole him! They're taking him to his dad's!" Alas, they were *outside* the gate looking at the landlord's fancy car. My trust level is just very low--Mama Bear in me??

Update: They didn't wait around for a bird to fall for that trap. They got one with their bows and arrows. Oh, and a machete. I went to take a picture, but they had already skinned it and it grossed me out. Their dinner, they said. Pray was inside with me during all of this--thank goodness! 

Despite our rough few days and my fleeting moments of "What am I getting myself into??", I love this little guy to no end. Like our favorite book, he is "my I love you."

Adoption. It is a turning point, separating everything that comes before from what happens after. A decision that forces us to confront the most basic goals of life, it fosters change and growth for all who are touched by it. -www.pactadopt.org

Random notes:

-I have officially started the Christmas season in our house. The kids are dancing to Jingle Bells as I type. :)

-Tomorrow (14 November) is the Arusha Christmas Fair. Christmas shopping, SANTA CLAUS!!!, a special performance by Mama Afrika Circus (if we make it that long...I want to get there when it opens at 10am), food, and a BAR. Not that I'll have the chance to hit up that last one. 

-We are waiting for a call back regarding internet prices for home. It has to be cheaper than coming into town! Plus, it'll spare this mama the heart ache of having to leave behind her screaming son just to go upload a blog. :)

-Pray thinks he can get away with anything by saying "No thank you, Mama." or "Not today, Mama." Try again, bud! 

-He successfully sat in "time in" today!!! I am so proud of him and he got lots of kisses and high fives afterwards for listening so well. He gets those even for the smallest things, as long as he's listening! Progress!